On Ryu And Ken

Something I've been thinking about again recently - partly because Street Fighter IV's just been announced - is how much I love Ryu. More specifically, how much I love him in comparison to Ken. I know I've talked before about how Ken's a showoff while Ryu's fundamentally the best videogame character in history, but I thought of another thing. So.

Look at Ken's catchphrase:

I know the designers probably didn't put much thought into it, but that's typically bolshy and American, as well as completely stupid - she's already attacked you Ken, that's why she's bruised and crying. Now look at Ryu's:

How helpful is that? He wants you to understand that you need to counter his Dragon Punch. He doesn't just want to assert his superiority over you - he wants you to get better, so it'll force him to get better. In an earlier version of the game, he actually tells you that you need more training to beat him. And he's right! This is the sort of thing that makes Ryu so brilliant.

The depressing thing is, Ryu's just about exactly as good as Ken - or if you talk to Street Fighter experts, who know about delays and buffering and things I barely comprehend, actually slightly worse - even though Ryu practices all the time while Ken regularly trots off to drive posh sports cars or impregnate his wife Jane. Later editions of the game - along with comic and anime film tie-ins - compensate for this sort of stuff by insisting that Ryu's got the mental fortitude that Ken lacks, and that whenever he loses - to Ken in Alpha 1, for instance - it's simply because his mind isn't on the fight for whatever reason. They also suggest that he's really got the most potential out of all the fighters because Akuma's scared of him, and that the only reason he isn't the hardest man in the world, ever, is that he refuses to embrace his evil side. Which is lovely, but sort of misses the point, which is: Ken's probably just supernaturally talented at hitting people. Ryu isn't, and although he tries his best, he can't ever get better than Ken.

...

I don't really know what the life-lesson is there, but I'm sure I took it on board as a child.

I LOVE THIS MAN

And I really need to get back to learning Japanese.

War, Baby

I'm reading it at the moment - it's an account of the famous Benn/McLellan fight that ended with one man blinded and in a coma. Tragic, readable stuff, but more than anything else I like this line:

'When they win, when they experience the joy of physical dominance, they are more alive than anyone they have ever known - when they lose, when they are knocked out or marginalised by boxing's powerbrokers, they experience desolation that, thankfully, few of us will ever experience.'

Yeah.

Fight Week Is Over

...but, of course, you don't know what Fight Week was. Allow me to explain.

Fight Week was my first week of training full-time with a professional fight team, going to all of their practices and seeing if I could handle the pace. How did I do? Let's take stock:

Injuries

1. Minor Head Wound: probably from sliding along a wrestling mat on my forehead after a takedown, then aggravating the resulting burn by getting punched on it. Serious? Not really. Annoying to explain to everyone? Yes.
   
2. Dodgy Neck: from being neck-cranked - twice! - by someone who probably outweighed me by four stone and didn't know any other moves. I really should be able to counter that by now, though.
   
3. Minor Scuff On Left Knuckle: from doing the same left body-hook on a punchbag about a thousand times, probably aggravated by not wrapping my hands properly.
4. Vague Discomfort In Right Forearm: I imagine this was from getting punched on it.
   

Miscellany

• I am not fit enough. I get hopelessly knackered in two minute rounds of sparring - to the point where I can barely throw a combination - and although this is probably partly to do with me adrenaline-dumping because I'm so scared of everyone I spar with, it's also probably a lot to do with the fact that I haven't been running in nearly three months.
• Nearly everyone is better than me at jujitsu. Seriously. Even the people I thought were bruisers have a level of jujitsu that's genuinely frightening.
  
• I need to get better at wrestling.
  
• Having a Proper Fight is still a long way off.
  

Sigh.

Getting compliments

I am, as you've no doubt noticed, both funny and excellent at writing. I like it when my friends/peers laugh at something I've written, and like it even more when they drop me pithy little emails to say that they laughed at something when I wasn't around.

But somehow, that all pales into insignificance beside the two compliments I got today:

1. 'That shot's coming along nicely.' from Olympic-standard wrestler and top bloke Saeed, after I tackled someone to the floor with what's known as 'good penetration.' I'd make a joke about that, but I'm sure you're clever enough to come up with your own. And more importantly...

2. 'You've got the heart for this game. I can't train that.' from boxing coach and top bloke Andy, after I spent three rounds of sparring getting punched in the face so hard that my jaw's definitely going to hurt all week. My little heart nearly burst with pride.

Another Thing I've Been Thinking About...

...is that Street Fighter 2 is a bit like boxing, and every good 3D beat-em-up is a bit like Brazilian Jujitsu.

To explain: in Street Fighter 2, there are six buttons for hitting people. You can press them while you're standing still, ducking, jumping straight up in the air or jumping forwards and backwards. Then you've got two or three special moves, but they're fairly easy to learn. After one glance at the move list, you can literally do any of your character's moves any time you like.

By contrast, Tekken and Virtua Fighter take ages to learn. Every character has about fifty very specific combos, along with twenty special moves that usually aren't at all memorable. It'll take you a good few hours just to learn them all, and then you'll probably forget half of them the first time you need them.

If you're not acquainted with boxing or (more likely) jujitsu, here's how they work. In boxing, you've got about six punches - jab, straight, left and right hooks, left and right uppercuts. You can do them while you're ducking and moving and stuff, but that's about it. Throw in some rolls to the side - which I'm not very good at - and some blocks, and you know how to box. What you don't know, obviously, is the infinite number of ways you can combine all of those things to make combos and flow from one move to another and distract the other person from what you're really trying to do and set up the thing you actually want to hit them with.

In BJJ, by contrast, there are fucking loads of moves. Even if you discount the stupid ones that nobody ever does in a really serious fight, you need to learn to do about twenty things really well before you'll stand even a vague chance in a BJJ match against, say, a blue belt. Then chances are he'll still pull something out of the bag and armbar you anyway.

I don't know why I bring this up. I just think it's interesting.

Look here's a picture of Guile:

I BLOODY LOVE YOU, JANE.

The UFC Game

Well, it looks okay, except that Chuck wouldn't ever go for a triangle choke like this on Rampage Jackson - he mainly works to get up off his back from half-guard. They've clearly copied it off 'Page's fight with Ricardo Arona. 7/10
I'm joking, obviously. The UFC game is going to be the best thing of all time. They've even nailed how Chuck fakes with a left before he throws an overhand right, and how he's a little bit flabby. As long as they put Fedor in it and have a better system than the old games for letting you counter armbars, I'm giving it a million out of ten.

Concept footage, obv.